


Realign

by Seleniax



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crossdressing Eren Yeager, Le smut later on, Little bit of angst, M/M, Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Punk Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), but bad in this case, exes can be good or bad, its gonna be slow, mostly just fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-03-24 04:37:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13803558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seleniax/pseuds/Seleniax
Summary: Levi was moving on. He needed to get away from Erwin and this life that he didn't want to live.He wanted to be himself, the person that was lost years ago.(summary currently sucks - please read)





	1. Worst in Me

**Author's Note:**

> Please bear in mind that this starts off with him and Erwin still together, but it will be ending in a very short amount of chapters.  
> There will be NO hanky panky between them. 
> 
> I am experimenting with my writing in this story. I usually write long chapters, and because of that, I tend to get lost in the material because I don't think its good enough and redo it.
> 
> I plan for this to be short chapters, and a fairly short story itself, but we'll see.  
> Currently rated mature, probably will be changed to explicit later on.
> 
> Also, any who have read Mauling, I fully plan on continuing with the story, I've just been having issues on how to continue. I originally wrote it one way, and then it kind of went in 20 different directions for potential plot and story.
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy!
> 
> First song - [ Worst in Me - Unlike Pluto ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3C04Ev1caQ)

Staring at the computer screen wasn’t going to make what he was reading go away. It wasn’t like he wanted it to either, but… it just made so much fucking sense. He didn’t know if it was him just seeking a way out, or really wanting answers, but he did know that he was done. 

For the past 3 months he had been slowly trying to find out what the fuck was wrong with his boyfriend. It began when one of his coworkers, talking incredibly loudly that the whole office could hear. Confiding that they had gotten his brother into therapy after years of knowing something was wrong, but just never admitting it to themselves. His whole family had been researching and asking around, and finally admitting to themselves that there was a problem, and getting his brother help. 

This ticked something in Levi’s brain, a clear sign to him that his instincts were doing smoke signals or tap dancing. Ones that he had ignored for years now. But this one had hit close. It didn’t help that when he got home that night, Erwin texted saying he was staying late at the office, again. Levi knew, though, what it really was. He was just so tired of the fighting and the righteous fury being manipulated out of him by guilt trips and bitching and whining. To the point that he had become so passive and just didn’t fucking care anymore, giving in because he was so worn out. 

So, he began his own search for an answer. Unfortunately, Survey search engine couldn’t really help with the initial ‘what the fuck is wrong with my boyfriend’. Eventually, he began to narrow the search, and hundreds of websites and journals and blogs and quizzes popped up. From there, the search kept going every day. 

It didn’t take him long to find a bunch of ones that were saying his boyfriend of almost 7 years likely had a personality disorder, and could have multiple other mental disorders and addictions to go along with it. But he had been sitting on it. What does he do with this? Does he approach Erwin, tell the man that he has a serious problem? Because that would just be something that he doesn’t care about anymore. 

Literally, no fucking care. 

Which led into a very serious introspection and many nights sleeping alone in the guest room because he refused to sleep in the same bed as the blond. Staying up as he honestly thought about what this means. Erwin only made a few comments here and there, the few times he was home. Levi did in fact have peak season hours going on, and easily dismissed the questions by way of his erratic hours and bringing home work, by saying he didn’t want to inconvenience Erwin with his annually fucked up schedule. There had been a few advances, but Levi quickly got out of the situation. He didn’t want to be touched by him. Felt sick when he so much as ran a hand down his back. What the fuck had Erwin done to him? 

Before they had got together in college, Levi could admit that he was emotionally stunted. A life with an uncle in the mafia and raised with violence and abuse could fuck a kid up. Levi was lucky enough to just get out of that whole situation. And after some years in college, with shit boyfriends and fucks and flings, he came upon the blond in his last year. Handsome, charismatic, and tenacious, he had dragged Levi along until the raven haired man finally gave in to going on dates and agreed to a relationship. 

Somehow, without his knowledge, he ignored his instincts about the blond that told him to stay the fuck away. It wasn’t that Erwin was physically abusive, save for a few times or really rough during sex when pissed. It just felt like this amassed tension in the nape of his neck, nerves on end, hairs risen, preparing to shiver but not quite releasing that impulse yet. And it has been sitting there for so long that he just kept letting it sit there until fucking Barry spoke up. Then his entire body felt electric, primed, ready for a fight. 

With the past few months of recapping years of their relationship, Levi realized that Erwin exhausted him. Drained him of his fight. Made him feel like his feelings were invalid when the asshole cheated on him almost every other week or month. Or when he forced Levi to go to company parties for Erwin, to smile and pretend that everything was fucking fine and dandy, don’t look here, nothing is wrong, we’re fucking perfect. And most humiliating, was going to parties with Erwin’s friends. That Levi knew for a fact that all of them had fucked or would be fucked by the blond, despite repeatedly reminding Erwin that Levi did not sign up for an open relationship. And it was always Erwin’s friends that they hung out with. Levi didn’t have any friends, not anymore. Erwin somehow pushed the few Levi had out of his life, so Levi’s existence revolved around the blond. Their condo, in Erwin’s name. Everything they had that was major to buy, Erwin’s. Like a giant ass LED sign all over Levi’s life that said this was Erwin’s world, and Levi just lived in it at the beck and call of the lord. The only things in Levi’s name was his car and a few appliances. 

He was done with this not feeling thing. He was done with just not caring. He was done with being controlled and manipulated. 

He was done with Erwin years ago, and just hadn’t even realized it. 

It just made sense to apply for jobs else where. As in, far the fuck away from the blond and the nuc that would blow once he found out Levi was gone. Because while it was a dick move, Levi wasn’t going to fucking tell him that he was leaving. It would just be another fight, more baseless promises of how ‘I’ll stop’, ‘I’ll get help’, ‘I love only you’, that all turn to guilt and manipulation and Levi just feeling tired and shitty with cum in his ass while Erwin was victorious and smirking next to him that he got what he wanted **again**. 

Their entire relationship was founded on Erwin being the one in power, always having the one up, everything went his way. 

Fun fact 1: Levi **hated** being bottom. Sure, every once in a while he’d feel the want, but it wasn’t often. And Mr. Monster Dick Smith refused to share himself with Levi. To be vulnerable, intimate. Build a partnership on mutual understanding. 

Fun Fact 2: Despite the current circumstances of the last 7 years, Levi hated not having control. Hated giving it away like it was candy to a fucking spoiled child. Evidence A-Z: Erwin Smith. 

Fun Fact 3: Levi, knowing his own miscomings, had once thought this relationship was the smart choice. That Erwin had his shit together, didn’t hit him, didn’t do drugs, kept any consumption of alcohol in moderation. That Erwin would make him better as a person. That they would get married, have kids. That idyllic ship had sunk long ago. 

With those reminders popping up, he let out a low sigh. It felt almost like relief. 

He was done. He had enough. He deserved better than this. He deserved to be free. 

There was a notification email that pinged, telling him the application went through. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like all writers, I exist solely on caffeine, self criticism, and love.  
> Send love. Or caffeine.  
> Kudos and Comments would be cheaper.  
> Just saying. (unless someone knows how to get me caffeine via a computer)
> 
> ^_^


	2. I Know Your Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had every intention of posting this Sunday, but class work came first, then sleep. Whelp.
> 
> No beta, excuse shit grammar, unless you can point it out to me, and I'll fix what I can.
> 
> This chapter brought to you by [ I Know Your Secrets – feat Liv Ash (produced by Tommee Profitt) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGN3u8TBO4w)

It had been two weeks since he sent his resume out en masse, and so far he had already gotten a few skype interviews, a few rejections, and a few tentative offers. Currently, he was sitting in the guest room, going through his last round of the day, and the russet-haired woman was all ridiculous smiles and huge intense eyes. 

“-and can you list off some weaknesses for me?”

Levi stated bluntly as he stared into the cam, “I can work with customers, but I am aware that I don’t exactly come across as exactly the friendliest. In fact, I’ve been told I am intimidating, even when I’m not doing anything. I’m also a little too much of a perfectionist that it can piss off some people, and I expect everything around me to be sanitary and clean.”

Cinnamon colored eyes blinked, and the woman nodded, relaxed grin melted onto her face, “Thank you for your candor. A lot of the time, interviewees don’t actually answer the question with honesty, and I appreciate that you did.”

That surprised him. Most don’t appreciate his personality and all its quirks. It got a raised eyebrow out of him, and for some reason the woman seemed excited, writing something down in her notes. As she raised her head to begin the next question, he heard the front door open and shut loudly. His heart jumped, Erwin wasn’t supposed to be home until 8, he was two hours early. Shit!

There was a soft ping from the computer, and it grabbed his attention. Looking down, he saw his hands shaking a little. Since when was he so fucking afraid of his soon to be ex? The screen indicator flashed, and he saw the intense eyes staring at him, calculating, dissecting him. She had typed something on the screen.

Hanji: Turn off the program. Contact me when you have a free moment to continue the interview. Even if its 2 am, I don’t care. 

It jolted him that she read him so easily. She couldn’t see his hands, how the fuck did she know he was freaking out. Instead of asking, he gave her a curt nod and clicked out of the program. He wasn’t sure if he should go out there and find out why Erwin was home, or if he could sneak into the bed and pretend he was sleeping to calm his shit and maintain low contact with the blond. He only had a few weeks left of peak season, and his excuse of sleeping in a different bed would be gone. The blond was getting impatient with him frequently. Even started insulting him over fucking food, which Levi is the one to cook because the ass refuses to do it even if he was capable. Bitching about how Levi has time to make meals for them both, but not do anything else with him. 

All this did was reaffirm Levi’s decision. Levi had hinted that maybe Erwin could go to the store instead then, so Levi wouldn’t have to go shop at four different stores to go get the specialty items the blond demanded. Erwin complained, mostly about how he would have to leave work to be at the shops during their opening hours. Levi suggested Erwin could help make meals, and that only got him a lecture on how Erwin’s schedule didn’t allow for that free time. Levi had scoffed at him, irritated, asked how he expected to spend time with Levi if he doesn’t have time to even make himself his own fucking breakfast. 

He will simply not ever change, only provide Levi with lip service and frustrated disappointment.

Mind made up, he quickly unbuttoned his work shirt, and shut down his work laptop. While technically not allowed to be searching for other jobs on a work computer, it was the only thing that was a sacred boundary that Erwin won’t cross and expect access to. Levi’s personal laptop and phone were open to the other, and if he changed the passwords, the blond would suspect something. He believed he had the right to Levi’s things, but Levi wasn’t even allowed onto Erwin’s mobile. 

Shirt folded, phone plugged into the nightstand farthest from the door, he dove under the covers, cocooning them around him so there would be no surprises of Erwin under the covers with him. That had happened a few times in the past few months when the blond was getting lonely, or trying to entice Levi into fooling around. So, even if he did try to sneak into bed with him, Levi had currently some layers of protection. Hopefully, that gave the indication that he wanted to be left alone. 

Eyes closed, he took meditated breathes to calm himself. He could hear the microwave running, the leftovers he had stored being reheated. Heard a muffled conversation through the door, so Erwin must have been on the phone. It didn’t take even 5 minutes for his body to be in a doze, drifting between the realm of sleep and awake. As he gladly swayed between the two, he heard the bedroom door open. He was aware as heavy footsteps entered.

Going around the bed to the nightstand with his phone, fucking typical. He won't find anything there. 

A small, twisted and vicious voice in the back of Levi’s head wondered what would happen if he changed his passwords. What would happen if he denied Erwin. If he flat out confronted him about all the side pieces.

A nasal sigh left the intruder, and the soft thud of the phone being put down. His hope that the man would just leave was dashed when the bed dipped and he felt an arm wrap around his fluffy cocoon and drag him closer to the blonde's chest. Levi didn’t move and stayed in his halfway place. Didn’t give a hint that he was semi-awake, otherwise, he’d berate Erwin for not changing out of the clothes he wore outside before laying on a clean bed. 

He must have really fallen asleep because the next time he was aware of things around him, the room was black, and Erwin was gone. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he sat up and felt two needs demand his immediate attention. Quietly opening the door, he padded across the hall silently to the bathroom to take care of one of them. Finished with that, he began the trek to the front of the condo where the kitchen would provide him with something to eat. As he got closer, he heard a low murmur coming from the living room. Stepping further down the hall, he heard a surprising reply that must have answered whatever Erwin had asked.

“- peak season, you know that’s the worst time of the year for him. It’s only fortunate that he can stay here instead of sent wherever corporate wants to put him for 3 months. It’s been like this for years, it's not that different.” Mike’s bass voice was soothing and low, in attempts to keep the quiet atmosphere of the dim lighting pouring out of the living room archway. Levi stopped shy of exposing himself to either occupant of the room, leaning against the wall in the shadow.

He didn’t give a shit if this was considered eavesdropping, they were having the conversation, and part of him wondered what Erwin was suspecting. If it was anything else aside from him potentially cheating. Another fraction of him, that twisted and vicious little thing inside him, was curious as to why Mike was here this late. Bet himself his whole salary just where this conversation was going to end. 

He wasn’t a masochist, but some sick thing inside wanted to have further confirmation of how fucked up Erwin was. How fucked up and dead their whole relationship was that he barely felt any anger. More an irate annoyance that he would be having one of his regular fucks here, in the living room. Where Levi cleaned.

He had missed some of the conversation during his introspection, but caught some keywords that tuned him back in,

“-never been this distant before. And he’s been snapping at me more than usual. Barely lets me hug him unless he’s asleep.” Erwin ushered a putout sigh. Levi’s jaw clenched, anger stirred a little. Fuck this bitch, he gets all the physical affection he needs elsewhere, what difference does it make if it isn’t coming from himself? Erwin always made himself out to be the victim, like Levi was wronging him or hurting him. 

“He’s probably stressed out more than usual.”

“It’s stressing me out when I get shut out.” Erwin grumbled. A shift of sitting position and Mike’s reply was amused and suggestive, “Let’s check out the situation, hmm?” Levi rolled his eyes at the doctor’s lame line leading into role play, but it probably worked for him. 

The zipper was loud in his ears and he could hear Erwin moan softly. That was his cue to leave. Any appetite was lost, and he made his way back to his room, closing the door gently behind him. Locking it, he immediately booted up his work computer. It was reaching midnight, but he figured it was worth a shot. Logging into skype, he typed in a message to the woman, Hanji, asking if she was willing to finish the interview. 

It took less than 15 seconds for a call to come through. He answered, and she appeared much the same as she had earlier, though her hair looked a little poofier. Collar a little crooked that he swore he could see a bright blue edge of a tattoo. Her expression was serious as she asked, keeping her voice low, “How long do you have?”

Levi blinked, surprised by the question, but didn’t wait to answer, “I’d say 20 minutes.”

She grinned, determined and animated, “We’ll be done in 10.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! All comments, constructive criticism, and kudos are welcomed.
> 
> Like all writers, I exist solely on caffeine, self-criticism, and love.  
> Send love. Or caffeine.  
> Love would be cheaper.  
> Just saying.  
> (unless someone can figure out how to get me caffeine through a computer)


	3. Paint It Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little longer, is the mantra keeping this little train running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to try and post chapter 4 in 2 weeks, see if I can make this a scheduled post. Big maybe, as I'll be right up on grad finals, and then immediately following finals going on a long ass camping trip with a friend who is finally moving back stateside from Hawaii. She has promised me allowed internet time from the wild, but we shall see. 
> 
> Originally when I wrote this, this was the chapter Levi just up and left. Then I reread it 20 times, it felt way too rushed for what I want to show for our darling Levi. 
> 
> Songs for this chapter:   
> [ Paint It Black - Rolling Stones ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4irXQhgMqg) (had a hard time choosing between this one or the Ciara version. Both are wonderful.  
> [ Sleep Talking - Charolette Lawrence ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcMwQ_aDi_g)

It said something about the tenacity and the potential of absolute insanity of his new boss, that at 8 am, hours after his interview, he received an email detailing the job offer, along with moving accommodations and recommendations. When he had opened the email that morning, he was suspicious about the offer due to any potential sympathy. One phone call during lunch shut that down, in which he was regaled with the fact that she liked him for some reason (refer back to his thoughts on her sanity). She also admitted that because he was willing to be there in less than a month, he was a higher candidate on her list, not to mention his competencies and certifications. 

It’s been a week since he accepted the offer during that first phone call, and he felt that rush of seeing the end of the race in sight, and the dread of Erwin catching on to his plan to leave. 

Swiping the foggy mirror, he took off the fluffy towel to see his hair everywhere. He glared at the mop of hair, long to his shoulders, just how Erwin likes it. It was annoying in its upkeep, though, and not his style. The damp strands stuck to his collarbones, sitting on the exposed tattoos of his back and sleeve on his right arm. With a pause, a hand traced delicately on the lilacs dancing on the edge of the collarbone above his heart. Despite it being years since he got the tattoos decorating every limb, they had only faded lightly, for which he was grateful. It would take forever to do touch ups on all of them. 

Beginning his morning regimen, he had just finished with the hair dryer and combing out his hair when the bathroom door opened unexpectedly. He managed to suppress his body’s reaction to jump and throw something, seeing Erwin standing in the doorway as the steam of the room wafted his way. The blond quirked a brow, eyes scanning him critically while also checking him out in just a towel on his hips. The urge to throw something popped up again, but he suppressed that too. The other’s nose scrunched up delicately, with a crease between his furrowed brows, showed the blond’s distaste. 

“Yes?” Levi asks, not bothering to stop his morning routine. Grabbing his tooth brush and paste, it doesn’t take long for Erwin to speak. 

“Just wanted to make sure that you’ll be ready at 6 for the party tonight.” 

Levi felt his eye twitch, mood flared to annoyed in seconds. He answered after spitting out a mouthful of paste, “I’m always ready on time.” 

“You haven’t been lately.” Erwin countered, eyes still wandered Levi’s painted skin like he had swallowed something foul. Levi’s eyes flashed sharply to the blond, as his muscles tensed up for the potential fight. His voice became clipped and had a harsh bite. 

“That’s because you volunteered for my appearance, even though you knew I am busy, and didn’t tell me until the last fucking minute. That’s on you, not me. When _I_ say I’ll do something, I do it.” Roughly brushing his teeth, he only hoped that that was the last of the conversation. 

It wasn’t. It never was. 

Erwin stepped into the room despite the obvious lack of invite. This only made Levi’s claws come out at the ready, watching the man that past through his personal barrier, and tried not to deck him as he got too close. He didn’t want the man near him, a weird sense of almost fear at the towering asshole next to him. It took fucking everything not to attack as the man’s arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him into Erwin’s front. 

He did not like this. He did not want this man touching him. He didn’t want to play nice, didn’t want to play his games. _Only a little longer_. 

Fingers began to lightly trace the skin around the towels edge, something that used to turn Levi on, but decidedly did not now, with him. A kiss pressed into the skin of his neck, in hopes of calming the raven haired man and to arouse him. It had opposite effects. Erwin, observant when he actually had his full attention on Levi, must have noticed that he was only tensing up further. Ice blue eyes searched his in the mirror, but instead of giving everything away, Levi glared venomously. 

He hated the games, but the longer he was around Erwin, the more he needed to play them. To get some space, it appears he’d have to play some of his cards. 

“What’s wrong?”

He took his time to answer, spitting out the last of the paste. Grabbing the moisturizer, he began massaging it into his face. 

“Don’t touch me.” 

The fingers stopped adventuring, but they gripped him around the hips as the blond bored into him. As he finished, he grabbed his tweezers, but made no move to do anything with them. He wasn’t bending closer to the mirror when the bastard was behind him. 

“Levi –“ 

“Why don’t you call the doctor about your stress issues. He’d gladly make another house call, I bet.” He interrupted bluntly, infusing as much bitterness into his voice as he could, trying to make it seem fresh instead of just exhausted exasperation. If he acted jealous and upset, Erwin typically gave him breathing room to calm down, right before the blond would get his way after a series of blow ups and fights. 

It must have worked, because Erwin’s eyes widened a little, the same expression as he’d had before when he’d been caught. Slight surprise, almost breathless. **No guilt.**

“I – “ The blond’s nails were digging into his skin, and he wanted to throw up, but he cut the ass off again, releasing some nerves and anger on him as he glared harder in the mirror,

“Save your fucking breath. Don’t touch me.” 

Erwin tried to pull him closer, like that would somehow help the blond, “Levi, you’ve been avoiding me for months. Are you seriously going to act like a child when it’s your fault?” That sparked something in Levi, just like the blond fucking knew it would, getting a reaction. 

“Are you shitting me? It’s called keeping it in your pants! Use your own fucking hand!” He seethed, trying not to stab the blond with the tweezers. 

“If you’d stop shutting me out, then –“ 

A pale hand gripped the other’s wrist painfully tight, the blond went quiet at the display. Levi rarely became violent in anyway, so the warning was easily heeded for Erwin’s silence. Levi bared his freshly clean teeth as he dug his nails into the flesh of the blond’s inner wrist. 

“Just because I am tired and stressed, and I don’t want to be touched, does not give you the right to whore yourself out.”

Erwin’s volume lowered drastically, his tone attempting to be soothing, knowing that he was treading a dangerous path. “We need to talk about this –“

“ _We’ll_ talk when **I** am ready to talk about it. And that’s not happening until after peak season is done. Until then-“ he took both hands and pried them off his hips, eyes not leaving the blond’s in the mirror. “Hands off.”

The threat of harm if his wishes were not met seemed to register, and the blond backed off, hands at his own sides, eyes already calculating. Probably trying to see how long their usual ‘fighting’ would take before Erwin would manipulate him back under his thumb.

Not this time, but Levi didn’t let that thought change his expression. He flit his eyes back to himself, set on ignoring the blond now. Erwin stayed for another minute as Levi cleaned his ears, and then stated, tone gruff and dismissive from not getting his way. 

“You’re running out of the stage make up for your tattoos. I’ll order you some more.”

Levi grit his teeth, jaw clenching. Of course he’d notice.

“Don’t bother.”

“You ordered some?”

Levi grunted, letting Erwin take it however he wanted. The blond seemed to think it was confirmation, and left the cooled bathroom without a word.

There was enough to last two weeks. After that, he’d never have to wear it again to satisfy the blond’s need to make him look groomed and trimmed for Erwin’s social circle. 

_Only a little longer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi was more confrontational in this, but that’s because he is starting to unravel a little. He sees the end point, and is getting jittery. And him manipulating Erwin, is a survival technique that some learn in order to get abusers to act a certain way. Levi is very much not that kind of guy when he acts like himself.
> 
> Also, I was having issues with how to show Erwin being manipulative. This seemed like primary school league, but I don’t know how to convey it well. 
> 
> Kudos and Comments loved and appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Like many writers, I exist solely on caffeine, self criticism, and love.  
> Send love. Or caffeine.  
> Kudos and Comments would be cheaper.  
> Just saying. (unless someone knows how to give me caffiene via a computer)
> 
> ^_^
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
